Absolut Schöne

[Waytfm]

This is the new beginning to my first story that was posted up here. Part of me doesn't want to mess with Andrea's story because I'm not sure if I could recreate the same level as that one scene did. Another part of me, though, wants to grow as a writer, so here we go.

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A dull pounding on the door awakes me from my stupor. I raise my head from the pleasantly cool, smooth surface of the desk to look at the door. I see other students do so as well, eager to discover the cause of the disturbance. The teacher breaks off in mid-drone, and a flash of annoyance seems to cross his withered, gray face, as if to say “How dare something interesting happen in my class.” He slowly makes his way over to the door, utilizing a slow waddle that seemingly divides his portly body into two halves that move independently of each other. After a short eternity, he reaches the door and pulls it open, a small creak uttered in protest by the door.
“Good morning Professor Harrison.” A high, nasally voice that I’ve come to recognize as belonging to the headmaster calls out, although the headmaster himself is shielded by the dull brown wood of the door. “I’ve brought that new student I was telling you about. She’ll be in this class for this period.” Professor Harrison’s eyes widen a little, as if he had forgotten.

“Oh, yes yes. Thank you very much. “The gruffness in Professor Harrison’s voice softens a level as he speaks. Can’t frighten the new student off too early I guess.
“I’ll leave her in your care then.” The headmaster says, and, after a pause, the sound of footsteps echoing down the corridor tell me that he’s gone.
“Come in, come in dear.” Professor Harrison’s voice now approaches what could pass as warmth, and the mystery student finally enters the room.
A hush falls over the room as she appears. She’s… gorgeous. Long, wavy blonde hair flows down her back, held in by a ponytail. Brilliant greens eyes shine with excitement, surveying the sea of faces, one and all, with a curious interest. She’s tall, maybe a little on the thin side. It only serves to accentuate other… features… though. The skirt and blazer of the school uniform fit her perfectly, their dark blue fabric contrasting wonderfully with her pale, white skin and fair hair. A heavy looking green book bag hangs from one shoulder. She seems to stand on edge, as if she might begin running around at any moment.

“Attention class.” As if there were anyone not paying attention right now. “This is Andrea Becker. She just transferred here from her home school. Treat her kindly. If you will,” he says turning towards the new student. “Please take a seat at the empty chair over there.” The professor’s sorry excuse for an introduction only creates a vacuum where answered questions should be, and the lack of definite information about this new intrusion sets the class on edge. Just who is this newcomer? Andrea herself seems to be put off by the abruptness of the introduction, but she quickly recovers and begins to make her way over to the only empty seat in class. Which, I realize with a joyful start, happens to be right beside me. I give a silent thanks to whatever agent of good fortune arranged this, and watch as she sits down not more than a meter away from me.
Professor Harrison, oblivious to my excitement, begins his slow drone once more. As if there had never been any interruption at all… Well, so much for not frightening away the new student.

Andrea reaches into her book bag, and selects the heavy tome of calculus that appears, in various states of use or disuse, on every student’s desk. As she places it gently on the desk, a look of worried confusion appears on her face, and she turns to and fro looking at the other copies that surround her.
“Page 254.” I lean over and whisper quietly, hoping to avoid creating a distraction that might earn me the professor’s wrath. The new student’s frantic search ends as she settles down and opens her book.

“Thank you” she whispers back. She seems to sense the professor’s dislike of interruptions and distractions as well, and doesn’t try to make any further conversation, although her desire to is almost palpable. She almost seems to be bouncing around in her seat with pent up energy.
If Professor Harrison notices this, he chooses to ignore it, and continues with his sleep-inducing lecture unperturbed.

The bell finally decides to grant us mercy, and rings out a sweet tone of escape. Andrea jumps out of her seat at the bell, garnering bewildered looks from most of the class. She doesn’t seem to notice, and begins to put her books away in her bag. Andrea’s energy seems to be every bit as strong as it was at the beginning of class. An impressive feat, to say the least.

As we file out of the classroom, like a herd of cattle being driven from place to place, I feel a light tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I my gaze lands upon Andrea, her outstretched arm hovers over my shoulder a moment before she retracts it.

“Hi there.” She says with a beaming smile. Her excitement is infective, and I feel myself grin back at her unbidden.

“Why hello there.”

“Thank you for letting me know what page we were on. I get the feeling asking wouldn’t have been a good idea. My name’s Andrea, by the way.” Her sentences are quick, rapid fire in her need to speak. She holds out a dainty hand for me to shake.

“So I heard.” I reply, taking her hand in mine. “My name’s John. And no, Professor Harrison doesn’t like interruptions at all.”

“Well, I’m glad you stopped me then.” She responds, her sentence punctuated with a beautiful laugh that easily breaks through the hustle and noise of the sea of people that pass us. “So, is there any chance you could point me towards Mrs. Johnson’s room for my next class? I have her for literature next.” She inquires, holding a hand behind her head in a sheepish manner.

“You’re in luck, that’s not far at all. It’s just four doors down on the left.” I say pointing in the general direction as best I can in the crowded hallway.

“Thank you very much.” She says flashing me another bright smile. “I don’t suppose you’d be in that class as well? It’d be nice if there was someone I’ve already been introduced to at least.”

“I’m sorry; I don’t have Mrs. Johnson at all.” I find myself get slightly disappointed at the divergence in our schedules.

“Ah, darn. Oh well, maybe we’ll have another class together. Thank you for the help.” Her voice fades as she begins to rush off down the hallway, leaving me in a daze as I watch her go. I shake my head, trying to order my thoughts, as if shaking a disordered mess would somehow create order. I finally recollect myself, and begin to trudge off to my next class, my thoughts lingering on her.

[Gloom]

In short: wow!

Not in short: I am not sure if this was your intention in writing this scene, but either way, I'm absolutely charmed by the simplistic, elegant beauty of it. You've managed to write a scene (or a chapter, or a story) that has no point (at least as far as I can see), but that in the same time is all but meaningless. I've been trying to do something like that for years, and have never managed to. There were no drawn out, confusing, gloomy internal monologues: just a flowing, completely natural conversation between two characters - and yet both of them shone clearly through it without ever needing to essentially blurt out an out-of-place expository information dump.

The descriptions all blur smoothly yet clearly into each other: I could imagine every single moment as if it was a frame from a movie - but it never felt tedious or over-intentional. Just a casual, natural, yet completely perfect placement of otherwise inconsequential scenery details that made the story feel so complete and professional.

The secondary characters (yes, I consider them a part of the scenery) of the barista and Joe felt just lively enough to be realistic yet not so much as to hog the spotlights away from people who actually matter to the story, and this is just how secondary characters should be.

The atmosphere, realistic without being boring for once and romantic without being cheesy, has also been masterfully woven into the piece.

On the negative side, I think that I've found a few spelling or grammar errors, but then again, I myself am not exactly a professor of English, so it would be a little hypocritical of me to anally point them out. And that's assuming none of it was actually me being wrong and you being right.
Also, towards the end, and this is just my opinion here, I did start to feel like you've been overusing Andrea's tongue a little, so to speak. It was cute the first time you've mentioned her sticking it out, it was amusing the second time, but at some point it'd just started feeling as if she's just walking around with her tongue out.
But we still don't know much about her as a character (which is incredible, because you did manage to make her very likable without actually telling us anything concrete about her), so maybe it just has something to do with what we don't know.

[Waytfm]

Wow, I'm not sure what to do with all that praise... Thank you. It almost makes me just want to stop here because I'd screw it up if I continued.

The criticisms on the other hand, I can deal with. I'm sure there are a lot of grammatical errors. It's much more likely you're in the right here (Especially if they involve comma splices ). If you feel like it, could you PM them to me so I could correct them? The tongue was something I did worry about overusing. In fact, I'm not entirely sure why I didn't go back and fix it. Oh well, I think I'll keep it for now.

Thank you for the criticism.

[Leotrak]

... I have no idea why people tell me my writing's good when there's writers like you around O.O Mind = Blown

[Mr Immortal]

If Chuck Norris' beard could write....

Obviously I'm over exaggerating, but I still fairly enjoyed this. It's kinda hard to make a guy sound romantic in a story without him being cheesy, but you pulled it off fairly well. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, and there was nothing I particularly disliked, so I guess you're of the hook for now

[Waytfm]

... I have no idea why people tell me my writing's good when there's writers like you around O.O Mind = Blown

I can't read my own works without cringing, so I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about. I still appreciate the sentiments though. Hopefully the next installment will uphold this marvelous standard I've apparently set for myself. I'm still working things out in my spare time though, so it might be a few days before I can put that up.

[Malkav]

Very good! I agree with almost everything that Gloom had to say about it. It flowed perfectly, with just the right amount of detail and brevity to keep me hooked. There were quite a few mistakes involving both punctuation and spelling/word use, but nothing that really interfered with understanding the story. But those can be cleaned up with a bit of time and scrutiny. I didn't think the tongue-use was noticeably excessive, though.

All in all, to quote your character, Andrea: "Absolutely adorable."

[Waytfm]

So, I came across the ending to an unwritten story on my computer, and decided to start writing the rest of it. After I got about 1,000 words into it, i realized that I was writing about Andrea, the heroine of this short story I put up here. So, I decided I would try and make the two into one story. Although I loathe to mess with the short story I had up, for fear of not being able to do it justice with the rest of the story, I've decided to go ahead and start to put it up on here. I've edited the first post in this thread to contain just the first little chapter of this story, so go there to start. This post has the second chapter.

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Unfortunately, our paths do not cross again during classes. I step outside the academic building, making my way over to my dorm room, when I catch a flash of golden hair bobbing along a few meters ahead of me. Breaking into a jog, I catch up to Andrea.

“Hello you.” I say, tapping her on the shoulder as I catch up. She jumps at the sudden contact, and spins around.

“Geez! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry. Sorry” I say, holding my hands up in a gesture of penance. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, you just surprised me, that’s all. I didn’t notice you had shown up.”

“Oh, well again, I’m sorry. How were your classes?” I change the subject.

“They got a lot better after first hour. Although I was kinda disappointed you didn’t show up. I had to introduce myself way too much.”

“Ahh, I’m sorry, there’s not a whole lot I can do about that though. At least you don’t have to do it again.”

“I guess there’s that.” I notice our pace has slowed considerably. It seems neither of us are in any hurry to make it back to the dorms. The chirping of crickets fills the lull in our conversation as we walk in silence, enjoying the day.

“So, where are you from?” I break the spell of silence, questioning her for information.

“Oh, I’m from Germany, Munich to be specific.”

“Ahh, a city girl, huh? That must be fun.”

“It is actually, I take it you’re not much of an urbanite?” She questions me right back.

“More of a' large town-ite.' I live in a town in the UK, only has about 10,000 people give or take. It’s pretty dull there.”

“I’m sure it is.” She says, holding her hands up to ward off my reaction. It doesn’t work.

“I’m sure it is.” I reply in a facsimile of her voice, making a face at her. She laughs it off, and I even find myself chuckling.

“So, what hobbies do you have?” I ask after a short pause, breaking the natural flow of conversation. All of this talk about where we’re from begs the question ‘Why are you here now?’ and I’m still not sure if I’m ready to answer that question. It’s too personal to break that particular taboo. If she notices the subject change, she doesn’t comment on it.

“I like to listen to music, hang out with friends, normal stuff like that. Nothing special. What about you…?” We continue our conversation as we walk. Even though our pace has stalled almost to a stop, it seems like we run into the fork separating the girls and guys dorms far too soon.

“Well it looks like we split up here.” I say, reluctantly signaling the end to our conversation. The crickets seem to chirp ever louder.

“Yeah, I guess so.” My heart leaps at the hesitation in her voice, and then I feel bad. “It’s getting late anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She flashes me one of her beautiful smiles, and turns to walk away. “Bye bye.” She calls over her shoulder, waving a hand at me.

I respond in kind, still standing there. After a second’s hesitation, I turn as well. I find myself hating the fact that they couldn’t have moved the fork in the sidewalk up a few more meters. I haven’t known her long, but I’m thinking I kind of, maybe, like this girl.
__________________________________

I make my way up to my room and collapse on my bed, my thoughts lingering on her. Thoughts of possibilities for the future drifted to and fro through my head. My gaze lands on a stack of books sitting on a simple wooden desk. My books. My textbooks that I neglected to take to classes earlier that day. I sound a defeated sigh as force myself up. Head in the clouds or not, I still had homework to do.

[scopedknife]

I'm very much enjoying these... though isn't the first post now a completely different chapter?
Keep up the good work! ^^

(also... where I live is in the UK, and population 5000... but it's a village, not a large town xD)

[Leotrak]

Nitpickings!

We continue our conversation continues as we walk. Even though our pace as stalled almost to a stop

Italicized words! The "continues" here is rather out of place, and I'm fairly sure you meant to write "has" there

Other than that, I like this ^_^

[Waytfm]

You're completely correct. Editing fail on my part. Thanks for the heads up

Thanks for the information as well scoped. I come from a town of about 5000 in the US and I've always referred to it as a small town. I'll fix that right away. And yes, the first post is an entirely new chapter.

[Waytfm]

The next day, much to my delight, Andrea takes a seat beside me again in Calculus. Unfortunately, with the exception of a quick hello, the slow drone of Professor Harrison prevents any conversation between us. Since I had nothing better to do in Calculus, I end up spending most of the class observing Andrea, sneaking quick glances out of the corner of my eye.

She seems to vibrate at her seat, emitting an aura of energy and excitement in spite of the depressing subject material to which she was being exposed. Her hands tap quietly on her desk. Her leg bounces up and down rapidly, shaking the rest of her body. To my …excitement…, this includes all of her body. Her eyes, framed by her blonde locks, are closed. It’s obvious she’s not paying any attention to the lesson at all.

My attention slips back to the realm of calculus, but I’m quickly overwhelmed by a wave of boredom and my tolerance is shot within a few minutes. I turn my attention back to Andrea. She’s still bouncing around in her seat, but this time, her eyes are open. Her gaze quickly finds mine and she gives me a small smile. I smile back, and her attention drifts off again.

The rest of class passes by at a painfully slow rate. Finally, the bell sounds once again to release us. Andrea and I end up next to each other once again as we fight the pressing crowd of classmates to exit the room.

“Is he really like that all the time? He’s not just having two off days in a row, is he?” Andrea asks me, projecting her voice just enough to be heard over the pressing tide of students, but quietly enough so that nobody else should hear inadvertently.

“Sorry.” I reply in kind. “That’s pretty much par for the course with him. He doesn’t really get any more interesting than that.” She lets out a low sigh.

“Well that’s no good.” She pouts. After a few seconds more of fighting the crowd, we break out into the much less densely populated hallway. She turns in the direction of her next class. “Well, I’ll talk to you later.” As she starts to go, I bid her farewell and start down the hallway opposite hallway to my own class.

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I arrive at lunch early, due to my previous class being let out early. The smell of bland food is as strong as ever, contrasting with the gleaming wooden appearance of the cafeteria. The tables and walls were both made from rich dark wood that shone, and deserved to be accompanied by better food. Alas, it seems today is not the day to bring that dream to fruition. To my surprise though, I see a mane of gold hair among the few students already scattered across the cafeteria. After I quickly grab my food, I make my way over to the empty table where Andrea sits. She seems to be deep in her thoughts, and jumps when I set my tray down beside her. Her hair flies as she whips her head around to face me. After a second, she calms down.

“Jesus, you scared me.” I didn’t even hear you walk up.” She seems slightly breathless from the shock. She shakes her head, as if to clear her mind. “Give a girl some warning please.”

“I’m sorry.” Now I’m unsure whether or not I should even sit down.

“No, no it’s fine. Take a seat. You just scared me some.” She offers me a seat next to her, and I take it.

“So how’s it been so far?” I question.

“No complaints. Other than Calculus, all of my classes are at least bearable. Some of them are even fun. Really, after Professor Harrison, anything seems fun.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” I confirm, nodding my head sagely.

“Oh! My parents said they might come down to visit soon. Whenever they can both make time off work anyways.” She changes subjects abruptly. She seems to do this a lot when we talk, following where ever her train of thought takes her. It’s almost like watching a minnow dart around in the water after being frightened.

“That’s great. Any idea when they’ll come down?” She shakes her head.

“They both work a lot. I know I said it would be soon, but both of them getting enough time off to come down here at the same time is hard for them to do.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Now I feel awkward. “What do your parents do?”

“Oh my mom works as a bank teller. My dad does construction. We’re not rich, but we get by. I’m only able to go to this school because of insurance and financial aid.” I feel a flash of sympathy, and she catches it. “Oh no, we’re not poverty stricken or anything like that. We’re just not rich. I still wouldn’t trade my life for anything.” She continues to talk about her life in Munich. Friends, schools, neighbors. With each new subject, more and more excitement seems to pour out of her. I can see her struggling to keep up with the pace of her thoughts. Who knew someone could get so excited just talking about her family? She must be terribly homesick, although she certainly doesn’t show it. I’m more than content to just sit there and listen to her, and I do so until that pesky bell interrupts us.

[Waytfm]

This is a short chapter, but I like it. It's definitely a change of pace. As always, let me know what you think and what I could do better.

Also, if there are any medical inaccuracies here that you notice, please let me know. This isn't something I'm 100% sure about, so I'd really like feedback from somebody who knows more about this disorder.

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The next couple of days pass relatively uneventfully. I spend most of my spare time during lunch and some time outside school with Andrea. I enjoy spending time with her. Her excitableness and energy are contagious. Her conversations are always fun. The way they dart from subject to subject, following some logic I don’t quite understand yet. She’s always jovial, ready with a joke or witty remark.

Such were the subjects of my thoughts as I lay in bed, attempting to go to sleep. Without warning, my heart skips a beat. At that sensation, my blood freezes and my breath catches in my throat. My heartbeat begins to increase its tempo. The darkness in my room seems to intensify. I’m about to die. The room seems to spin; my hands are clammy and shaking uncontrollably. I’m shaking uncontrollably, and my body won’t listen to whatever jumbled demands my addled mind is capable of giving. Yes, I’m about to die here, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I try to take in a breath, but it feels like a reaper is smothering me. I feel a stabbing pain in my chest as my heart beats ever faster still, creating a primal drum beat to accompany the whirling of the room and blood rushing in my ears. This cacophony would be my funeral dirge. Shadows seem to morph into evil creatures with sharp claws reaching out towards me. And my heart beats ever faster.

After an eternity, I come to my senses. My heart slows it’s suicidal pace, and the veil of terror lifts enough for me to make out my surroundings. I’m in my bed still, curled up in a tight ball. Still alive, somewhat. All I can do is lay there, tremble, and cry.

Panic Disorder. The reason I’m here. The mother of all anxiety disorders. The first time I had one, my parents thought I was having a heart attack. If only I were that lucky. If only I could have something that would actually kill me. Instead, I get that. An overwhelming fear of death that leaves room for no other thought. Terror unlike anything you could ever imagine. And it happens without warning, even the slightest thing, such as skipping a heartbeat, can set it off.

It had been so long though. I had really thought that maybe this school had cured me. It seems I’m not that lucky. They’ll keep happening, maybe forever. I quickly stop that train of thought, before it leads to another panic attack. I curl up even tighter into my ball, trying to stop myself from shaking. After a long while, I fall asleep, mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

[Waytfm]

Quick note here about the title.

Most importantly. I finally decided on a title. It's German for absolutely adorable, since I couldn't think of anything else that I didn't immediately hate.

Absolut Schöne literally means Absolutely Beautiful, which I think is a reasonable approximation for absolutely adorable. The connotations might be different though, I'm not 100% sure. If someone more knowledgeable about the German language could help me out here, I'd much appreciate it. Anyways, I looked at more literal translations for "adorable," but I didn't like the way they sounded, so I didn't use them.

Hopefully, I'll be able to post more sometime tomorrow.

[scopedknife]

I'm no master of the language, but I was under the impression that the connotations of 'schön' were more 'pretty' than 'beautiful', if you see what I mean. I'm sure a German can tell you better than I can though.

[Waytfm]

Yeah. I was using beautiful with the same connotation as pretty. I know I've seen it translated both ways, but I guess there could be a slight difference. I'm pretty sure Astartus is from Germany, so maybe he can help us out.

[Waytfm]

I had meant to put this with the last part, but I forgot. Here's a very short little scene.

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I manage to make it to school without any noticeable aftereffects of my night terror. I’ll have to go see the doctor about that, and see what he has to say. But for now, I’m back to normal. I play with the food on my plate during lunch, pondering my situation. I can’t afford to shut down after every panic attack. Bouncing back is something I’ve long since gotten good at. Just seeing Andrea during class helped as well. I’m fine right now.

“You said that you’ve been here at this place for a while, right?” A voice breaks above the din of the crowded cafeteria and startles me out of my reverie. I look up to see Andrea staring down at me questionably, looking perfect as usual in her school uniform.

“Hmm. Yeah. I’ve been here a while.” I respond somewhat quizzically, my earlier troubles chased away by its strange nature. What sort of a question was that?

“Well, as you know, I have not been here a while, and I was wondering if you could show me around sometime, perhaps to a movie?” She asks me, very matter-of-factly.

“A-are you asking me out?” I manage to sputter after a moment. Sure, my heart leapt at the words, but we’ve still only known each other for a couple of days. How could she pull off such a question, and with such a straight face?

“Only if you say yes.” She says as a grin appears on her face.

“O-of course.” I manage to respond, still reeling at the suddenness of her declaration. The force behind her words was one that seems to move forward at all costs. Ignoring reason and the like. People tend to talk about things like this. Doesn’t she care? I continue to talk as my mind ponders this. “When? Where?”

“I’m the one who’s new here. You’ll have to provide the ‘where.’ How does Friday at 6:00-ish sound.”

“I can do that.” Well, that was that. Regardless of what people thought about this, it was going to happen…. I was going on a date with Andrea Becker. I feel my heart soar as the realization finally hits me. Let people talk. I’m going on a date with Andrea Becker!

[Waytfm]

And now we're back to where we started at. This is the original chapter that I published here, edited slightly to make it fit with the rest of the story. Unfortunately for me, this means I actually have to start figuring the rest of this story out now. I should have another chapter up in a week, unless my workload decides to get even bigger.

As always feedback is welcomed. It helps me out immensely, so feel free to unload a bomb of literature-rape on me.

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I wipe my palms off on my jeans. She’s not even here yet, and I’m already sweating buckets. Why in the world did she agree to go out with me? Could she just be leading me on? Will she even show up?

A quick glance at my watch tells me I need to calm down. 5:40; there’s still five minutes before she is supposed to be here anyways. I let out a sigh and try to relax. Closing my eyes, I let the sounds of the evening hustle of people lull me into a state of drowsiness….

“We haven’t even started the date yet, and you’ve already gone to sleep. I hope that isn’t a sign of how the rest of the evening will go.” A familiar voice interrupts my relaxation.

“Nope. Just waiting on you.” I reply, a smile emerging on my face. I open my eyes to a beautiful sight. A tall thin girl stood on the sidewalk in front of me. Andrea Becker. Blonde hair fell in waves down to thin shoulders. She wore a bright red jacket, jeans, and black boots that rose up to a few inches below her knees.

“Sure, you were.” She replies, a bemused smile playing on her lips. Her green eyes shone with excitement. “Well, shall we be going then?”

“We shall.” I close the distance between us and offer my arm to her. She lets out a small giggle and accepts, wrapping her arm around mine.

“What a gentleman.” She comments, that same smile of bemusement still on her face. She was close enough that I could feel her warm breath on my cheek. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice the slight blush that I could feel beginning to form on my face. Having her so close to me was… exhilarating… A rush. Don’t screw this up.

We walk arm in arm towards our destination, a small coffee shop that I often frequented. After that we would be off to a theater to see a movie. It’s not much, but for a money-deprived student it was about all I could afford.

“Are we going to the coffee shop?” She questions, breaking the spell of silence that had befallen us. “I think I’ve been there before. A day or two before I actually started classes.”

“That’s what I was planning on, unless you want to go somewhere else.” I search her face, worried that I had chosen a poor destination. Thinking about it now, it wasn’t anything special. It was just a coffee shop. Was it not special enough for a first date?

“It doesn’t matter to me, you’re paying.” She says, sticking her tongue out at me. Her joking demeanor sets my worries at ease. “Its fine, I love going there.”

“Oh that’s good, I’d already set it up for you to do dishes to pay for our food, so it wouldn’t do to go anywhere else now.” I return her joke. She pushes her shoulder into me, knocking me off balance.

“Jerk. Why don’t you just try it and see.” I hear her reply as a stumble for my balance. Finding my feet, I look over at her. The bemused smile is back, and a competitive gleam in her eyes tells me I’m not about to get the last word in.

“I guess I’ll have to pay then.” I concede the contest with a smile. She beams back at me.

“Come on, come on. We’re almost there.” She urges, picking up the pace and pulling me alongside her. I quicken to match her gait, and we arrive within a few minutes.

A large plate-glass window reveals a brightly lit shop, mostly empty save for a few other groups and couples that graced its tables. I open the door. The aroma of coffee and pastries floods through the opening.

“After you, miss.” I say in my best impression of a butler as I give a small bow.

“Why certainly, Jeeves.” She says, instantly playing along. “You can go keep the car running and await my return.” Her attempt to replicate a fancy British accent fails miserably, and I let out a barking laugh.

“That was a horrible impersonation.” She sticks her tongue out at me.

“Bad Jeeves. No pay for a week.” She admonishes me.

“Terribly sorry miss.” I revert back into my butler voice, my smile still prominent on my face. She makes a face at me again as she passes over the threshold and towards the wood-topped counter. I quickly follow behind her. A couple seated close to the door looks over at us and smile before returning to their conversation.

I look over to see Andrea taking to the barista, a short girl who didn’t look to be much older than us. Her brown hair was disheveled, with arrant strands of hair poking out here and there. It doesn’t seem to affect her bubbly mood at all though, and she’s conversing happily with Andrea.

“I’ll have a mocha, and, I’m not sure what he wants. What are you getting?” She turns to me.

“I’ll have the cappuccino please.” I tell the barista.

“Alrighty then, is that all, no food or anything?”

“That’s all for me.” Andrea glances at me and I reply with the same.

“Ok, just sit wherever you want and I’ll bring you your coffee.” The barista blows a few stray bangs out of her face and turns to make out order.

We take a table in the corner, away from the rest of the customers. The table itself was impeccably clean; it’s wood top spotless and gleaming, but my attention was focused on the figure in front of me.

She had taken off her red jacket to reveal a white blouse with black buttons running down the front. It certainly fit her very well, and I had to make an effort not to stare.

“So, what did you think about that test in math?” I ask, latching on to the first conversational idea that presented itself. Her response is to throw her head down on the table.

“Blaaaaaah.” Her groan of despair is muffled by the table.

“That bad?”

“Yeah.” She replies, sitting upright again. “I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty before I took it though.”

“I thought you were pretty good with math?”

“Only when I study.” She says, somewhat bitterly

“Ah, I’m sorry. “

“Don’t be. It’s just one test. I’ll be fine.” She consoles. Suddenly, her gaze shifts past me. “That looks like our order. That was quick.”

Shifting in my seat, I turn to see the barista coming with our drinks.

“Here you go, one cappuccino and one mocha. Have a good night you two.” She sets the drinks in front of us along with a bill. We give her our thanks and she leaves. “Just a moment sir, I’ll be right with you.” She calls out to a customer waiting at the counter as she turns.

The aroma of our beverages washes over us, enticing us to take a sip. Delicious.

We continue our conversation, this time interspersed between sips of coffee. It only covers small talk, but I still find myself entranced by it. Grades, gossip, or general happenings all seemed interesting when they were discussed with her.

It was a random glance at my watch that broke the spell the conversation held over me.

“Uh-oh, we need to go, the movie starts soon. “ I say as I stand up and put my own black jacket back on.

“Oh no, we’re not going to miss it, are we?”

“Nah, I just wanted to leave a little earlier. We should still make it in time though.” I pick up the bill and start to turn to go pay.

“Do you want me to pay for mine?” She asks.

“I got it.”

“You sure?” She asks in confirmation as she stands up, pulling her jacket over herself.

“Of course.” We both head over to the counter. I hand the money over to the barista with a few dollars in tip.

“Thank you. I hope you found it alright.”

“You’re welcome. The drinks were great.” We finish giving our thanks and leave. The cool evening breeze hits us as we cross the threshold. Andrea grabs my arm this time, and begins to pull me along as she hurries towards the theater.

“How long until the movie starts?”

“It’s fine; we still have about fifteen minutes before the movie starts. That’s plenty of time to make it there.”

“Oh, okay then. Why did you want to get there so early?” She settles into a more comfortable pace and looks up at me.

“Just out of habit. My dad is a stickler for punctuality and I guess he passed that onto me.” I say with a small laugh.

We quickly arrive at the theater. Opening the glass doors, the smell of popcorn is almost overpowering. The theater itself was gaudy, with brightly colored carpet and walls. Pictures of popcorn and movie reels adorn the carpet, posters and cutouts of up and coming releases adorn the walls. Just like a million other theaters all over the world.

We enter and make our way up to the attendant. The movie we were going to see was a romantic comedy, and actually seemed pretty enjoyable. I figured it would make a good date movie.

The lines aren’t very long and they move quickly, so we soon reach the attendant. He’s a guy who looks about our age, maybe a little younger; sixteen or seventeen years old. He has bright red hair, twisted in a mess of unruly curls. His face is covered in acne, forming a drastic contrast to his pale white skin. “Joe” is featured prominently on his nametag.

“Hi, we’d like two tickets for that new romantic comedy that’s out tonight.” I say to Joe. He seems taken aback at the request.

“I’m sorry sir. It’s been sold out for a while now.” Joe says this with the air of someone who has had to repeat it multiple times. He seems to cower slightly as he says this.

“Ah, shit. Really?”

“I really am sorry. Terribly terribly sorry, sir.” He holds his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture.

“It’s fine.” I say as I exhale a sigh. “Is there anything else you want to see?” I ask, turning to Andrea. She scans over the list of titles.

“Not really…” She says, looking at me. “What about you?”

“Same here.” I look down at her. “I’m really sorry. I guess we should have gotten here earlier after all…” I trail off, feeling like crap. There we go. I knew I would screw it up somehow. It had been going so well too…

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.” She consoles, placing a hand on my shoulder. Apparently my feelings were more obvious than I thought. “Come on, let’s just walk around. I don’t want to go back yet.” She begins tugging on my arm.

“Okay, then.” I concede to her pleas. Turning to the attendant, I apologize for wasting his time.

“It’s perfectly fine sir.” He says looking relived at the peaceful outcome. We turn and head back out the door, back into the cool breeze.

“Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?” I ask

“Not really, I’m fine with just walking around though. It’s a nice night.”

It really is a nice night. It’s not overly cold for this time of year, and there’s not a cloud in the sky. The stars and moon are vibrant. It’s a beautiful night, and I shouldn’t spend it down in the dumps. I have a beautiful girl at my side, and we’ve been having fun.

For a time we both just walk in silence, taking in the sights. The city is still very much alive. The noises of the hustle and bustle as others walk to and fro wash over me. The purr of car engines provided a comforting static, although they probably would have driven me crazy any other time. Right now I was perfectly content.

Andrea shares a similar look of contentment. Still clutching my arm, she glides along serenely. Her eyes sparkle with the lights of the city. Her hair shines a radiant gold. She looked… stunning… gorgeous… absolutely beautiful…

My staring catches her eye. She turns to look at me more intently. Her familiar smile intensifies as I quickly try to avert my gaze.

“You’re cute. Did you know that?” Her proclamation catches me off guard, and I stumble for a reply.

“Th-Thank you.” Is all that eventually comes out. I feel my face begin to turn red and I hear her giggle.

“Absolutely adorable.” She follows up with. My surprise has worn off by this point and I manage a reply.

“You’re not half bad yourself.” She squeezes my arm in protest.

“Hey now…” She says, letting her faux threat tumble into nothingness.

We continue with our walk, our conversation drifting on and off. We’re both simply happy to be there with the other. Her presence at my side is enough for me. After a while, we wind up near the iron gate of the school from which we set out. Andrea tries to stifle a yawn and fails.

“Come on. Let’s go back.” I urge her. “It’s getting pretty late and you look spent.”

“I guess we should. It’ll be curfew in a little while.” She concedes, no longer trying to hide her yawn. It was getting late, and we’d been walking for a couple of hours.

We pass through the iron portcullis, and head down the path that leads to the dormitories. The smell of fresh cut grass lingers over the campus from earlier in the day. We walk in silence, and I am simply happy just to walk next to her. A few other people are also scurrying back to the dorms. We quickly reach a fork in the sidewalk, one path leading to the girl’s dorm and the other leading to my own dorm. We stop and look at each other.

“I guess this is where we separate.” I say to her, wistfully wishing we didn’t have to part. “I’m sorry we couldn’t make it to the movie…”

“It’s fine, I still had fun.” She says. “Besides, I think it works out best like this.”

“Why is that?” I ask, my thought turning to our long walk through the city. She flashes me a mischievous smile.

“Because now you have to take me to see it later.” A smile breaks out on my face when I realize the implication.

“How about next weekend? There probably won’t be such a rush then.” The beaming smile she gives me is answer enough.

“Sounds like a date.” Her smile disappears as a look of disappointment appears on her face. “I guess I should get going now though…” Her voice trails off as speaks. She seems to ponder a second, and then an impish look appears on her face, her green eyes flashing. “Don’t I get a goodnight kiss now?”

I instantly turn out a red hot blush. I step in and place my arms around her waist; hopefully she doesn’t feel my hands shaking. I move my face in closer and she moves to meet me, her normally shining green eyes are hidden behind her closed eyelids. At the last moment, my nerves get the better of my and I change my course, instead planting a kiss on her cheek. I step back and she opens her eyes; her face a mix of happiness and disappointment. Traces of her usual impishness quickly mix into her expression as she stares at me.

“My turn.” She says as she quickly steps in. Before I can react, she places her lips firmly on mine. They’re warm and soft and wonderful. My shock makes me slow to react, but I eventually warm up and lean into her. Placing my arms around her waist, I pull her in even closer; pressing her against myself. I feel my face turn redder than ever as she pulls back after some unknown amount of time. I feel lightheaded. She steps in towards me again; this time, she pulls me into a tight hug.

“Like I said; you’re absolutely adorable.” She whispers into my ear, her warm breath ruffling my hair and blowing across my ear. I spend a glorious moment still to shocked to speak. Instead, I simply enjoy the moment. Her hair smells like springtime, like new flowers; and it blends perfectly with smell of the cut grass.

“Like I said; you’re not half bad yourself.” I squeeze her tight, and she returns the gesture. “Goodnight.” I say as we finally separate and head back to the dorms, each on our individual paths. I watch the beaming grin on her face until she disappears behind the shrubbery that separates the two paths, my heart pounding. Goodnight Andrea, see you tomorrow...

[Redbullet612]

This is a short chapter, but I like it. It's definitely a change of pace. As always, let me know what you think and what I could do better.

Also, if there are any medical inaccuracies here that you notice, please let me know. This isn't something I'm 100% sure about, so I'd really like feedback from somebody who knows more about this disorder.

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The next couple of days pass relatively uneventfully. I spend most of my spare time during lunch and some time outside school with Andrea. I enjoy spending time with her. Her excitableness and energy are contagious. Her conversations are always fun. The way they dart from subject to subject, following some logic I don’t quite understand yet. She’s always jovial, ready with a joke or witty remark.

Such were the subjects of my thoughts as I lay in bed, attempting to go to sleep. Without warning, my heart skips a beat. At that sensation, my blood freezes and my breath catches in my throat. My heartbeat begins to increase its tempo. The darkness in my room seems to intensify. I’m about to die. The room seems to spin; my hands are clammy and shaking uncontrollably. I’m shaking uncontrollably, and my body won’t listen to whatever jumbled demands my addled mind is capable of giving. Yes, I’m about to die here, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I try to take in a breath, but it feels like a reaper is smothering me. I feel a stabbing pain in my chest as my heart beats ever faster still, creating a primal drum beat to accompany the whirling of the room and blood rushing in my ears. This cacophony would be my funeral dirge. Shadows seem to morph into evil creatures with sharp claws reaching out towards me. And my heart beats ever faster.

After an eternity, I come to my senses. My heart slows it’s suicidal pace, and the veil of terror lifts enough for me to make out my surroundings. I’m in my bed still, curled up in a tight ball. Still alive, somewhat. All I can do is lay there, tremble, and cry.

Panic Disorder. The reason I’m here. The mother of all anxiety disorders. The first time I had one, my parents thought I was having a heart attack. If only I were that lucky. If only I could have something that would actually kill me. Instead, I get that. An overwhelming fear of death that leaves room for no other thought. Terror unlike anything you could ever imagine. And it happens without warning, even the slightest thing, such as skipping a heartbeat, can set it off.

It had been so long though. I had really thought that maybe this school had cured me. It seems I’m not that lucky. They’ll keep happening, maybe forever. I quickly stop that train of thought, before it leads to another panic attack. I curl up even tighter into my ball, trying to stop myself from shaking. After a long while, I fall asleep, mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

I read this at work and had a bad panic attack right after... Curse you!!

[Waytfm]

... I'm not sure what would be an appropriate reaction here... I'm sorry I tried to murder you via words