Talking About Games Long Before Their Release Date

[LurkerNo9]

OK, so it's obviously way early to be talking about the 'major themes' of MS. But I can't help it; I'm a fan, and speculating based on meager information is one of that breed's favorite pastimes. So indulge me, please, everyone. Because there's something I'm really curious to see how the game addresses. Namely, differences. I mean, in most modern stories about people with disabilities or mental disorders, the focus is on how, underneath whatever superficial difference the characters possess, they're just like everyone else. This is a very deep and true message! There is a common, shared humanity that we all possess, that links us together and allows us to understand each either. It's hard to be reminded of this fact too often, considering how frequently we - I - forget it.

But it's not the whole story. Within this common framework of humanity, people can be really radically different from one another. Their personalities differ, most obviously, but so can their whole way of experiencing the world. When I'm around people and I'm being all "deep" and pretentious and shit - which isn't as often as you might expect from this post - one of my favorite questions to ask is "What's it like to be you?" I started asking after noticing, when reading novels, how different the characters' reported experiences of their lives were from my own. Part of this is just because of the necessities of storytelling. We don't want to read about what the characters had for breakfast every day, we just want to get to the good stuff: saving the princess, wooing the quarterback, getting slaughtered by the cosmic horror, whatever. But even in more self-consciously existential books, where the minutia of life are the focus of the story, the quality of the characters' experiences seemed somehow different from my own. It's hard to describe the exact way in which they're different, so I won't try to right now.

This subject - the vast differences that exist between people's minds - is tremendously interesting to me. I'm therefore kinda hoping that it gets explored in Missing Stars. After all, it will be a game that necessarily involves characters whose minds are well away from the norm, and in a variety of directions. I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't, mind you. I'll be perfectly satisfied if I just get a competently-done romance with a number of interesting and sympathetic characters. But how cool would it be if it did!

I'm not sure what my point here is. I'm not trying to poke the devs and say "Hey, guys, you should include all this shit here in your game!" No, the intended audience for this post is the fans who hang out here. I guess I'm just trying to spark a discussion about the subject. I've got a lot more to say about it, and a lot of ideas for stories that could involve it, and a lot of speculation about how it might be worked into MS. I want to see if other people are interested in this kind of thing, and to hear what relevant ideas of their own they have to share.

So, I guess I'll ask a simple question, and see if anyone bites:
• What's it like to be you?

Delving into pretentious analysis of unreleased games since 1986,
--LurkerNo9

edit: changed "how it could be worked into MS" to "how it might be worked into MS" so not to give the impression that I'm offering advice!

[TheLastMelody]

My answer:
Personally, crappy. No one ever leaves me alone when I want to be alone. Everybody nags at me for almost everything. My hobbies are shunned, therefore I am too. And I am labeled as "crazy" because I don't think inside this invisible box of theirs.

So, not fun. Intending to move when I can afford it.

[Waytfm]

You call that a simple question, but.... Where to start?

I guess I would consider myself... God damnit. This is hard to answer. So let's slide off onto a (hopefully) related tangent.

How do I see the world? Or perhaps more apt: "How do I try and see the world?" I try and view the world objectively I guess. I guess I operate under the assumption that right and wrong are tricky things to find in the world. I don't have the authority to judge morality, so i opt for trying to see the merit behind both sides of an issue. I guess I try and think things through logically to arrive at a conclusion. I guess that's the lens through which I try to see the world.

I know that's not quite what you were asking, but I honestly don't think I know myself well enough to delve into the depths of my psyche and answer the question "What's it like to be me?" I think it does tie in with the earlier portion of your post though. Maybe

[Pilgrimm]

Personally, I think a deep answer from this question is nearly impossible. I don't know myself well enough to describe who I am to other people. I am who I am, but from an outside perspective, it's hard to say what it is like to be me. Some people may find my life shitty, others may enjoy it based on their personal preferences. I honestly have no idea how to answer this question.

[Mr Immortal]

It's alright, I guess. I mean, sure, some people may consider it strange, but I'm happy with how it's going. I certainly wouldn't want to be anyone else.

[Malkav]

To be me...? If you mean the entity that is my psyche, personality, and consciousness, I can be likened to many people. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Son Goku. Chang Wufei. Quatre Raberba Winner. Drizzt Do'Urden. Hironori Nishimura. Geralt of Rivia. MALKAV. Akira Inugami. If you mean the experience of my entire existence, that can be summed up with different adjectives. Paradox. Intentions. Madness. Innocence. Love. Sexual desire. Dehumanization. Immortalization. Accomplishment. Learning. Confusion. Alienation.

My apologies for the awkward brevity of this writing. There is simply too much substance and not enough capacity, I think.

[TheLastMelody]

There is simply too much substance and not enough capacity, I think.

That is a good way to put it. Words cannot contain the meaning of ME. There is simply not enough ROOM in letters. They cannot carry the weight of ME/YOU/US/THEM/THEY

[Worthington]

To answer the question of what it's like to be you, you have to answer the question "Who are you?".
I'm a guy making Missing Stars.
What's it like to be me?
It's everything the previous statement entails.

[Waytfm]

To answer the question of what it's like to be you, you have to answer the question "Who are you?".
I'm a guy making Missing Stars.
What's it like to be me?
It's everything the previous statement entails.

Ah, but that's still only a partial answer.

[Worthington]

To answer the question of what it's like to be you, you have to answer the question "Who are you?".
I'm a guy making Missing Stars.
What's it like to be me?
It's everything the previous statement entails.

Ah, but that's still only a partial answer.

Relative to you guys, that is my entire existence; I don't exist beyond the scope of this project. I'm pretty happy to keep it that way.

[Waytfm]

You do that magnesium ninja stuff, don't you? Although I do only know that from the "hunt for your facebook page" thing you put us through.

[Al Capwned]

Hmmm... an interesting question.What's it like to be me? I wouldn't really be able convey that properly, unless you were me of course. Since you aren't (at least I hope your not) I could go through the mundane tasks of my life that I partake in day in and day out, or I could tell you feelings or thoughts that I have. But how would I know that you would understand them. The truth is I don't know what it's like to be me. I may consider my life to be boring and uneventful, but others around me think it is amazing and wonderful. I guess, maybe I'm just waiting. Waiting for something or someone to make my life amazing or wonderful. Maybe I've already found it, and this is the way it will always be.

I should probably stop, when I get to deep into things I tend to get a bit... nihilistic.

[alabaster]

OK, so it's obviously way early to be talking about the 'major themes' of MS.

It's never too early.

No, the intended audience for this post is the fans who hang out here.

I hope you won't mind if I answer anyway.

I don't think the degree to which we are different from one another can be measured in any meaningful way. It's something I wonder about quite frequently, though, so you're not alone. There's just no way to share the experience of another person. Even if you could know yourself through and through (which, going by this thread, is rare, if not impossible), no meter stick exists to gauge how different your experience is from another person's. You might think that's a sad world to live in (or you might just think I'm wrong), but actually I find it fascinating. Mystery is a wonderful thing. People are amazing, and I'll keep poking and prodding and learning about them even if I know I'll never know them.

Wait, that wasn't even the question you're really asking. Who am I?

I dunno.

[khaos4ng31]

I am an alcoholic that watches movies and anime. I work at a job that puts food on my table. I live alone, and am fairly young. I go to a university, but I hardly attend classes except on important days and the first two weeks (to let the professors know of my condition). I am unable to form a long-term relationships with most people, but there are some that can make it work. I am currently partaking in CBT to aid in socializing with people. I grow angry and bitter towards the assholes that I pass by when I'm out and about, and despite having a very calm nature and high level of tolerance, I have shown acts of violence involving throwing a chair or a billiard ball at the people who have consistently pestered me and wronged me (I've managed this now). I live a life of confusion and am almost reaching the point of apathy. I've basically isolated myself from people.

On the other hand, my isolation has let me discover my true potential, and resulted in me not completely shutting myself from society (I'm on this forum, for starters). I occasionally dabble in the field of hallucinogens to return to my fantasy world of the un-sane, a world between the insane and sane. Mainly it's LSD every 3-4 months. I use it responsibly, and I am an avid rave goer, albeit there aren't many raves worth it in my area. LSD and periods of extreme reflection is a very beneficial combination in MY experience that allows me to manage my life safely. Marijuana has entered my life, but it's recreational. I don't abuse any drugs, except for alcohol; I will admit to that. I drink myself to sleep most nights, and on the nights where I am unable to drink, I cry myself to sleep.

Yet despite all of this, I see the beauty in both life and death. Life, ever-changing, is perfection, but death, flawless and never-changing, is perfection as well. I see the beauty in the people close to me. I don't think I'll get married; I don't see why I have to legally obligate myself to someone. Maybe when my emotions return to their working levels, I'll be able to find someone again. My first love had to be let go. I met her during the peak of my emotional instability, and this was distressing her to the point where I decided that for her mental safety that I needed to go. It's sad to know that the very first person to understand me was suffering because of me. We don't talk anymore; it's too painful for her, and it's painful for me to see her like that.

I've moved on. How does it feel to be me? Confused and always seeking answers. I enjoy learning, contrary to the attitudes of most school children near where I live. That is why I enjoy some visual novels. They teach me something about myself, about how to react. That is why I am waiting for this game to come out. Devs, I hope to be flooded with emotional sentiment after the VN comes out. Make this VN worth my time, worth the FAN's time, worth YOUR time, and you will be rewarded with gratification with not only completing such an interesting project, but with the gratification of changing some people's perceptions.

[Pilgrimm]

Make this VN worth my time, worth the FAN's time, worth YOUR time, and you will be rewarded with gratification with not only completing such an interesting project, but with the gratification of changing some people's perceptions.

No pressure Devs, no pressure at all.

[turbulentDuvet]

To be me? Wow. . . Umm ask me one on sport? :s

Me personally? I'm open minded about a great deal of things from theology and sexuality to work ethics and passtimes.

Me in myself though I'm a chaotically busy person, I have to have something that I can do, that I can be working on for every waking moment, being still and stagnating for a few minutes is the quickest way to drive me up the wall.

I'm a listener and try to get on with most people who make the effort to tell the truth. Earnest people are worth their weight in gold, hip people can go . . . Do hip things somewhere I'm not p:

I love my day job, but hate it when the senior management get involved and tell my bosses, who trust me, how to best employ me, as opposed to actually letting us get on with what we're doing.

I'm at my most confident and calm in a room full of strangers, I have a weird phobia of people who know me changing their mind about me :/

[TheLastMelody]

I'm at my most confident and calm in a room full of strangers, I have a weird phobia of people who know me changing their mind about me :/

I don't find that strange in the slightest ^_^

[LurkerNo9]

Well, I'm glad that I was able to spark a discussion! I'm dreadfully sorry that it's taken me so long to respond. I've been kind of busy looking for work these past few weeks, and, well, the old habit of Lurking dies hard.

I can appreciate the skepticism of many people regarding even the possibility of a meaningful answer. alabaster's post put it eloquently and succinctly. I'm more optimistic, though. While it's true that you can never actually be another person, never fully get inside their head, I think that language is an underestimated tool. I think that language and empathy allow us to at least point in the general direction of what our experiences are like and communicate this with others.

Here. I'll give a worked example.

The most salient facts of my experience, when I compare it to the experiences of those others I read and hear about, is how abstracted and jumbled up it is. I spend a great deal of my life inside my own head. I daydream more or less constantly, and no matter what else I am doing I am also pondering some subject of greater or lesser import. The world of my senses seems somewhat distant to me. I don't mean that my senses are poor or unclear - I actually have very good eyesight, for instance - just that they don't impress themselves on my consciousness nearly as much as my inner life does. This has the practical effect of making me notoriously absent-minded.

Relatedly, my experience also seems quite jumbled up. It's a bit hard to explain exactly what I mean by this. It's like...there's no coherent flow or narrative to my life. My life is like the wags' conception of history: just one damn thing after another. I'm well aware that all narratives are artificial, imposed by our minds on the raw stuff of our experience, mind you. My mind just seems to be particularly reluctant to build these narratives about it experiences. It's not that I'm bad at imposing narratives on things; indeed, the one skill I really pride myself on is my ability to piece together dissociated knowledge. It's just that my mind has little natural inclination to make patterns of its own life history. My emotions, for instance, aren't very consistent from moment to moment. I can be quite moody, but I can also easily distract myself out of these moods and back into a relatively neutral emotional state.

I view both of these facts as being very mixed bags. My abstraction might give me a lot of interesting ideas, but it has serious drawbacks beyond even the practical one of absent-mindedness. I see, in a lot of literature and religion, the idealization of "the dreamer", of the sensitive soul who cares more about his or her inner poetry than the prosaic world of matter. My experience of the thing is quite the opposite: I think that the material world is the most interesting thing that there is, and often wish my thoughts would just shut up and let me be in it, alive. And while postmodernists might rail against the artificiality of imposed narratives and how they mislead, they also give us direction, allow us to set goals and carry through with them. The relative infrequency of these imposed narratives in my experience is a serious difficulty for me.

Another noticeable fact about the experience of being me is that I think in complete sentences, usually in my native language (English). I understand, through conversations with various people, that this is normal. Most people think using language. However, I have met some people - including some very intelligent people - who claim that all their thoughts are in vaguer forms, and that they have to translate their thoughts into language. This is an experience that I believe we all share to some extent, but it seems that it happens much more in some people than in others.

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I hope this has shed some light on at least the kind of answer I was originally looking for. This isn't to say that the answers I've received so far are inappropriate! They're actually quite interesting. In particular, I notice how abstract my answer is. It concerns somewhat vague conceptions of the nature of my experience qua my experience. On the other hand, we have some people who give primarily emotional and relational answers, such as TheLastMelody's. On the Frankensteinian third hand, we have the people who describe their experience in terms of their activities and interests, like khaos4ng31 and turbulentDuvet. And on the zeroth hand we have Worthington's rather Zen answer that he is the kind of person who is able to produce the kinds of things that he produces.

This is, I suppose, a little distant from the ostensible subject of Missing Stars. But it shows us how different people's experiences of living can be! I guess I next need to speculate about how this relates to mental illness, Missing Stars, and visual novels in general. I'm not going to do that right now, though. I've spent enough time rambling already. =P

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Also,

To be me? Wow. . . Umm ask me one on sport? :s

This made me laugh. =)