*Note: This is a direct copy and paste from the document I was writing in, so the format may be a little off. Code box is to save room.
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Frozen Flame
By [khaos4ng31; the Angel of Khaos; s3kShUn8; Robin Longstride; T3mp3st]; we are all one and the same
Persona 1 ~ Monomania
What I had done could not have been expressed in just mere words. After several years of crushing on her, I've finally mustered up the courage to express my feelings to the one girl that made life worth living for: Echo Nowling. All the months of phasing in and out of the hellhole I called life, all the months of constantly finding self-identity, all the months of working to build my relationship with her ended in success. I've finally broken the social barrier just to be with her; a quiet, emotionally unstable guy who was supposed to be coding complex algorithms and scripting programs for the newest open-source operating systems and a happy, rich, popular, outgoing girl who favored nights of Glee, days of shopping, and evenings of partying with the mass of friends she accumulated over the years of high school stardom. Two completely different types of people, yet it felt right. No matter what people claimed, no matter how much they made fun of my obsession for EDM (electronic dance music for those who do not familiarize themselves with any rave cultures), no matter how much they disapproved my interests for anime and fictional characters, she looked to enjoy our differences, and as did I. She, to simply put it in layman’s terms, understood and looked to love me just as I loved her. I still kept her first token of love: a simple picture of us together; our first time together; the first day I made my move; the first moment that turned my life around from the point of suicide. People believed that we belonged together, as if destiny had planned it out. I thought otherwise; creationism never appealed to me, so I preferred the notion that we developed a strong attachment to each other instead of an experiment run by a concept.
Persona 2 ~ Euphoria
All this began in the middle of the school year; during the winter; in snowy Colorado. As you know, Colorado freezes over with the fury of a snow God whose wife just left him for his best friend, allowing the mountains to open up the gates to snowboarders and skiers alike. During this time, a non-school-sponsored trip would reveal itself to those who could afford to go. During these cold times, we spent most of our days in semi-intimate settings, so both of us felt awkward and uncomfortable living in the same room for a week or so (well, maybe just her). However, during the next year, we grew as a couple, and I decided to surprise her. She almost cried tears of excitement when I revealed that a weeklong trip to go skiing at a newly opened ski resort would be very likely. The day of our trip snuck up on us as we rushed to our scheduled bus with our hastily packed bags; the night before was filled with dancing and raving, hindering us by delaying our morning routines. As we boarded the bus, we chose the middle-back seats, as it was far enough from the driver in the front for us to snuggle without having a middle-aged man stare at us and far enough from the douchebags in the back who lacked a qualified sense of humor as well as maturity. We settled into a seat, and talked about things like our first experiences with snow. I told her about the first time I saw snow; I felt like a god grinded a block of ice into a fine and pristine powder with his bare hands, lacing it with the coldness of the Arctic. Of course it was just powdered snow, but I explained how I loved the way the powdered snow would land on my head, and in a few minutes I would have looked like Sweeney Todd with white highlights. She had a slightly less memorable first experience, but interesting nonetheless. The first time she experienced snow was when she was young; a freak blizzard snowed her house in, and knocked out a couple of power lines. Of course, to a normal Northerner, this was nothing. However, she was from southern California, and had just moved to Michigan. As we arbitrarily traded stories, a passenger inquired as to how much time remained until our destination. The reply was that in this current weather, we would be delayed by an hour due to all the snow and ice. If the blizzard grew stronger, we would be delayed for at least 3 hours. Moans echoed throughout, and we huddled closer to stay warm. I joked and teased her over her Hello Kitty boots. She teased me over my obsession for visual novels. She fell asleep on my shoulder and I hugged her close. The scent of her hair through her snow cap stimulated my olfactory senses. I gently kissed her cheek, to which she woke up and returned the favor before falling victim once more to the Sandman. Soon, everyone was falling asleep to the droning of the bus tires on the asphalt, the singing of today's latest pop stars, and to the chattering of the gossipers. And soon, I fell asleep, and entered a world of fantasy.
Persona 3 ~ Phobia
I heard screams everywhere, and crying, and the sound of frantic panic. Someone lightly tapped me, insisting that I wake up. I opened my eyes, and saw a girl: Echo. No. As my eyes refocused, adjusting to the bright light of sun reflected by the snow, struggling against the blizzard, I found it was a girl whom I did not know well, but nonetheless went along on the trip. Arianne was her name. I stood up. Arianne found that I was pretty much okay and left me to check on the others. Looking around I saw that there were many people huddling together with their things, shoveling snow off their petrified faces. As my consciousness returned, I panicked when I realized that Echo was gone. I stood up and soon found myself on the floor. I looked to my leg. I could not feel it. I stood once again. Fearing the worst, I again stood, and felt a wave of tingling. My leg was asleep. I was out longer than I thought. I heard my name being carried by the wind. I turned around and Echo, with a face of fear, run up to me and held me tight. I questioned her for clues that would tell me what was going on. She just looked at me, fear in her eyes, in her breathing, in her voice. She quietly said that the bus had flipped and nothing more, that being together safe and sound was the only thing we should have been worrying about. I stroked her blond hair, and pulled her in close. I walked her over to a pile of snow, where most of the other students were. As I approached the gathering, I noticed that despite being in the midst of a blizzard, they were not struck with a cold, rather struck with a phobia. A phobia of not knowing what went wrong. Yet most were just sitting there, crying, sobbing, moaning, getting reception for their phones, etc. I sat down with Echo and told her that everything would be all right. Inside, we both knew that everything would not be all right, that this was just a glimpse into the impending terror we would yet to find. I stood up, and reassured Echo that I would be back in one piece. She seemed to settle down and finally let me go. Our minor separation unsettled me slightly. Thoughts raced through my mind. Fear began to creep into my conscious, and soon I was beginning to think that leaving to go out by myself was a bad idea. Perhaps this was a foreshadowing of what was to be. Maybe this was destiny and that by isolating my own self from the group, I would have broken the cycles of society and I am able to fre--. Just as my paranoia was taking control, I saw a small group of students who called me over. They too wanted to find out what had happened. I recognized them as the guys who sat in the back, who always joked around. They were my friends, long forgotten, always in my peripheral, but that was the expectation after I committed myself to Echo. They mused at how the old crew was back together again and I laughed. We really did have great times back then. Jokes aside, I reminded the group of the seriousness of the situation and, as a group, we walked to find out the truth. Four minutes had passed by, and we managed to find the road. Unfortunately, the road was 50 feet above us, and covered with a railing. Our eyes ominously moved towards the right, and soon we discovered the truth. An unfortunate dent and break in the railing was all that was necessary for us to know what occurred. Eager to discover more, we moved forward. The bus unfortunately struck a patch of black snow, and slid into the railing. The momentum of the bus was far too great for the railing to hold, and the bus burst through with immense force and dropped 50 feet, flipping obviously more than once as it tumbled down the cliff as evident by the scraps of metal still on the cliff. The bus was in a devastated state, excluding the now detached axles which were still intact. The bus had been ripped and shredded from the top, a result of scraping against the razor sharp cliff face. Something shiny caught my eye, and as I walked towards it I found that it was a gold band ring. I curiously looked for any damage and was appalled to see that despite the tumbling the ring had managed to survive without any scratches. My finger ran along the inside of the ring and felt ridges. I brought the ring to my eyes and read the engravings I had just discovered. The size of the carved in words contrasted with great disparity the significance of the engraving. The inscription read:
A burning heart of passion can easily be frozen by the hatred of this world, but it takes only another burning heart to melt away the ice.
The ring brought reminders of my relationship with Echo, and I pocketed the ring within my pocket, and we soon we returned to the group to tell them where the bus was. I frowned upon these people and their useless inquiry for material wealth.
Persona 4 ~ Dysthymia
We returned, and it was obvious that things seemed to have settled down. People were up and about, running here and there to the bus and back, relaying inventory from the bus. No one could get signal. A few of the hardcore students brought out some tents, obviously intending to camp out in the blizzard at the resort in an attempt to prove that they were boss. The tents were big as well. We all huddled in. I discreetly counted about 15 students, give or take one due to all the hustling and bustling inside. As no one could get signal, we were obviously stuck with no one to help us. Serves us right for deciding to take an inside route that was known to few. We decided that no one would be crazy enough to drive out in the blizzard. I held Echo’s hand in an attempt to comfort her. She didn’t hold back as tight as she normally did. I then hugged her, thinking that she was just traumatized. Her hugs didn’t seem right. She yawned. I let her lay on my shoulder while she dozed off for a while. Soon I too dozed off to the silence of all but the wind and snow. Groggily, I stood up and saw that Echo was not in the tent. Hell, no one was in the tent. I heard noises though. That calmed me down. It was Eric, one of my long-forgotten friends whom I had severed connections with due to legal consequences resulting from a demonstration of Schrodinger’s cat using a quite large animal. I was fairly pissed from that memory, but was glad to hear that everyone was still there. I silently crawled out the tent, looking to surprise Echo from behind to bring some comic relief to the situation. I crawled out. I found that she was in the arms of another. I stood silent, waiting to see if they would cross the line. She slowly came up to him and kissed him on the cheek. Soon they were locking lips. Dread rushed through me, and I felt weak. Soon I was filled with rage. Rage that I had bottled up before. The bottled up feelings of resentment to those who wronged me in the past, because I was too afraid to do anything about it, to those who constantly lied to me, to those who used me to their advantage, to those who verbally abused me, to those who excluded me, to those who thought me as an anti-social monster, to those who labeled me heartless and cold, to those who consistently pushed me around, to those who always commanded me against my will. My years of desensitizing myself and pushing my limits began to return. The feelings of anxiety revealed themselves from its hidden status. The inner rage I had bottled up began to increase in pressure; my bottle neared its limit and began to crack. The bottle was heating up. I thought of all the things that I had missed out on: the lack of parents who actually spent time with me, the lack of people who cared for me, the lack of a person who actually saw through my mask. Echo broke this mask. But like all things broken, they can easily be glued together. The bottle had burst. Rage spilled out, spraying in all directions. My fists were clenched. I walked towards the deceiver. I pulled her away in one gentle-smooth, but swift movement. Just as the guy began to open his mouth in my interrupting his love fest, I grabbed him by the neck. I could feel his jugular and his pulse through my thin winter gloves. Echo screamed for me to stop. My eyes were no longer focused on life. Instead they focused on releasing my pent up anger. Echo’s scream attracted the attention of the other students faster than I had thought. It would have been a comical sight to see, a smaller, shorter, and scrawny-looking college student holding up a bigger, taller, and tough-looking student by the neck, if it weren’t for the serious intent that was flowing from my eyes. My grip was so tight, that my fingernails had burst through the glove openings, and managed to pierce his skin a bit. The amount of detail I remember in those quick 5 seconds it took for me to spot the two and grab the guy seemed to be inhuman. Nonetheless, the anger continued to build, and it overflowed. My other hand wanted to experience the action as well, so I gave him a good punch to his left eye, effectively bruising it, and threw him against the snow. Kneeling down beside him, I threw another punch to his temple in an attempt to disorient him, a method I learned while taking an anatomy class. Using my knowledge of the human body, I grabbed him so he could stand and shoved him towards a tree. He hit the tree with excessive force. The momentum could not be stopped. My anger continued to overflow. Memories of past enemies flashed in my eyes, and replaced the guy I was pummeling. This only served to fuel me further. I gave a punch to the opposite side of his heart, careful not to give the guy any fatal injuries that would warrant me time in prison. I assaulted his head twice more, a fist in one direction, and a fist in the other. The images of my rivals who verbally abused me for being apathetic appeared. My fights with them were revived. Fights in which I won which resulted in countless months of therapy and counseling. Rage continued to erupt from me. Eventually it took five other students to separate me from the guy. I might have taken a bite out of one of the guys holding me back, due to my need to breath and the fact that the rage had forced me to clench my teeth so hard that one of my teeth actually cracked. Despite this nerve-racking damage to my tooth, I felt nothing as my rage continued to make me oblivious to all external pain. The guy was unconscious. People were staring at me. They were staring at what they thought a monster, a freak. Echo looked at me, tears streaming through her eyes. She knew that she had once turned a monster into a guy that would love her unconditionally. Now that she lay kneeling on the floor, she also knew that she had just killed that guy, allowing the monster to be reawakened. An hour seemed to have passed by. In reality it was only half that time. In that time, I was separated from the rest and they decided to move and look for the nearest town in order to get medical attention and to escape the raging blizzard. I was in the back. Ten long paces behind the group. It wasn’t that I tried to stray away from them; it was that they were trying to stray away from me. Another half hour past, and my rage and insanity were not all that dormant. I loudly screamed out several obscenities and cursed them all. I loudly exclaimed that I was no longer going to follow this blindly led group. Several of the good-hearted students attempted to persuade my decision. The rest kept quiet. I turned and retorted to each of the students that if I didn’t sever my connections with them now, then I would have severed each and every one of their spinal cords in their sleep, choosing somewhere between the first vertebra to the seventh, allowing for paralysis of their body from the neck down. They responded with silence, a fitting response to the ever raging blizzard. I turned and walked away. I also pointed out that they were not heading the right way in an attempt to further demoralize them. They insisted that they were headed the right way. Their footsteps were slowly muffled by the silent whoosh of the wind, snow dropping to the ground in front of my own eyes.
Persona 5 ~ Mania
I managed to walk back to my place of origin. The tents were still there, but all resources were stripped from them. I sat down on the snow, gathering my thoughts. Something shiny caught my eye inside the flaps of one of the tents. As I approached this object of interest, I saw that there was a note written on a fancy stationary paper attached to this mysterious object. I stood still for a minute, only to run towards the object moments later. I grabbed the object and observed it. It was the ring that I had found at the bus stop. I grinned a ghastly grin, one that only an insane man could have during a raging blizzard. I looked at the note and began to read it. The letter was composed hastily as can be seen from the ink stains and messy handwriting. The note read:
Roses are red;
Violets are blue;
Anything you’ve said,
Helps me to never forget you.
On the other side of the note, I found that it was addressed to me. I desperately searched for any clues that would lead me to the original author of the strange note, yet I found nothing to lead me to the origin. I picked up the object that was now on the floor. It was the gold ring I had found earlier at the crash site. I reread the inscription, and my rage soon died down. The realization of my isolation was becoming clearer and more ominous. My fiery rage began to die down as my rationality slowly returned. How could I have been so oblivious to the signs? Creationism is truly a fact, for I was destined to be alone. I now understood, and I took the ring and pocketed it, and folded the square note and put it in my coat pocket. I headed out towards a direction, none in particular, for I had nothing to look forward to. It had only been a few minutes before I came across a cave. I entered the cave and surveyed for any residents. There were no signs of life inside. The cave was a perfect rendition of me: cold and dead on the inside. I gathered what was left of my integrity and my body soon was put into survival mode. After leaving for about ten minutes, I returned with an armful of firewood to warm myself up. Upon returning to the cave, I noticed tracks which were not mine that entered the cave; it was human, and smaller than mine. Cautiously, I entered the cave and there I found Arianne sitting on the cave floor, unzipping her backpack and spilling the contents. Without a word, I laid the firewood beside her, and at that point she asked me if she could stay with me. Although my disregard for life was strong, I was not completely heartless, and allowed her to stay. She grouped some of the contents of her backpack into two separate piles. She pointed to one and explained that this pile was mine, while the other was hers. Seeing the confusion I had, she explained that this was a type of psychedelic drug that would keep the body warm if consumed, but in exchange for the warmth I would have to deal with slight hallucinations. I was skeptical due to several experiences in which the drug I took was not the drug I expected, so I gathered the firewood on the floor and commenced to light it on fire with my Zippo lighter. It lit up, and things began to heat up. I leaned against the cave wall, and glanced towards the dull fire. I grabbed one of the pills that Arianne gave me, and swallowed it, hoping that this drug would calm the vertigo that was my mind. I immediately began to feel warmer due to the body buzz the drug produced, but the side effects were hardly noticeable. Instead of hallucinating, I fell into a nap. When I woke up, the fire was almost dying, and Arianne was over me, desperately trying to get me to wake. When I woke, she let out a sigh of relief. She told me that the one shouldn’t sleep whilst on the pill, for if they do, they then will fall into a deep sleep and their hallucinations would severely change their dreams to nightmares. She also added that in some cases around the world, users of the drug that fell asleep sometimes never woke up and remained in a coma, forever stuck in their fantasies. My second close encounter with Arianne allowed me to notice her blue eyes and brunette hair. I couldn’t tell if it was the seriousness of my situation or if it was the drugs Arianne had given me that impaired my judgment, but only after an hour did the thought came across my head. Why had Arianne followed me? What were her intentions? Why haven’t she talked to me before, or at least introduced herself to me before? I looked over at her, ready to direct my curiosity and suspicion, but she was sound asleep, arms wrapped tight around her body to conserve heat. I felt pity and took off one of my coats and laid it over her, all my suspicion being drained from the act. My very action caused me to almost tear up, because of the irony that I would be so willing to help another person despite the fact that people have never helped me. I managed to get a grip of myself, and I crawled beside her. Using my gloved hands, I gently nudged her. She woke up, stared at me and smiled. I guess it was my expression, because she obviously sensed the awkwardness in the air. She sat up, and I began my questioning. My first question was why she had followed me. She gave the explanation that she was afraid that I would have gotten myself in trouble. Despite the fact that she thought that I couldn’t take care of myself, she managed to be the only one to end up with me. My second question gave away my paranoia. I asked her why she would follow a guy that she hardly knew. My suspicions were met when she answered that she had secretly been following my life since she first saw me years ago. She told me that she saw how I was usually isolated due to my anti-social characteristics, and how she wanted to make sure that I didn’t do anything to harm myself. In short, she wanted to be my guardian angel. As I was staring at her with confusion, I noticed her facial expressions changing. Her smile remained the same, but there was something in her eyes that told me that she also had some problems in her life that she was hiding from the rest of the world. Looking at her was like looking into a mirror; I only saw myself. A tear was released and slowly dripped down my cheek, unable to freeze due to my body temperature rising to reflect the nervousness and awkwardness in the small cave. It was obvious that she had grown an attraction to me over the years, despite the fact that we had never spoken to each other until now. I looked into her eyes and was blinded by flashbacks of my past. During the intermission of flashbacks, I had noticed that Arianne was always there, somehow drifting in the backgrounds of my memories. She turned over and looked away from me, breaking my concentration. I stood up and walked towards the cave opening. I stood, staring intently at the raging blizzard and pure, white snow. I sat down, unable to rest from all the flood of memories and thoughts. I turned around to look back at Arianne, and noted that she had luscious, silky, brown hair, even in the cold weather.
Persona 6 ~ Melancholia
I dozed off into my fantasy land, one where the only feelings I could feel were calmness and ecstasy. Dreaming helped to suppress my rage and thirst for blood. It wasn’t that I was lusting for blood; I merely found that violence quelled my anger. There was no urge to kill, but to inflict pain. I was a hardcore sadist. It was just that I never am able to find someone to be on the receiving end, and not be suppressed it for, like a masochist. I was also a pyromaniac; I enjoyed watching things burn in an inferno, no matter how small, no matter how large. If I felt like burning, I would burn it. The largest object I ever burned was in a forest. It was an abandoned log cabin, which no one ever used. Abandonment resonated throughout the small shack. Rats and spiders occupied every spot, leaving no mercy to any nooks or crannies. I calmly walked over, high-grade gasoline in each hand. I created a pretty little picture with the fuel, and made a small trail leading outside. I made sure to clear the area around; this was to ensure that the fire would be well controlled within my boundaries. I wanted to avoid the authorities’ questions. I lit the trail, and watched it burn. The cabin engulfed itself; the flames depriving the area around it of oxygen to relieve the flames of its hunger. Strangely, the flames seemed to grow in accordance with my hate and anger towards society. I began to hate myself. The fire inside of me synchronized itself with the fire outside, dwindling into an ember, until finally it died out. In front of me lay the ashes and remains of the cabin; dark soot everywhere, reeking of the smell of ash and death. Maybe it was my encounter with the unknown drugs that Arianne supplied, or maybe I had an epiphany. Either way, I had come to the conclusion that if I continued to unleash my drive for vendetta, that if I continued to live a life of violence and hate, that if I let the fire inside me grow to the point where it would engulf and consume me, then I would eventually end up as a pile of ash, only to be blown away by the wind and ignored. I sat down to ponder my situation, to reflect upon the memories that seemed to haunt me, when I experienced a high frequency noise that seemed to burst my ears. A sudden flash that blinded me with the power of a thousand suns left me crippled on the floor; I was unable to hear and unable to see, leaving me in a state of torment. The noise subsided, and I began to regain my vision, only to see that my environment had changed and that I had returned back to reality, inside of the cave. By then the fire had died down, just as it did in my dreams and coldness began to creep in. Arianne was already awake, but from the look of her eyes, I could tell that she had been crying during my nap. She collected herself when she noticed me staring at her. Then she spoke, “Look, I know that it was probably wrong for me to be looking out for you without your permission, so I’m sorry for that. I also know that it was wrong to expect you to return my feelings. I felt like I could relate to you, so that’s why I always wanted to try and be with you. It’s just the feelings I get…” As her voice began to trail off, I walked over and sat beside her, and our gloved hands met for the first time. “I don’t think any more words are needed. You explained enough, and I understand enough, and we don’t need to drag up anymore of the past. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can relate to you too. I just severed my relationships with several people, so I know what it feels to be alone now. We’re both isolated away from the group and have no knowledge of where we are. But do you see the beauty in that? Not knowing where we are, or of our fate? In this cave, there is no society to form laws or rules, so we don’t have to abide by them. It’s the first time I truly felt free, and I’m pretty sure you feel it too, right?” Though she kept silent, I could tell that she was interested and agreed with me. Her head dropped and she leaned on me, still wearing my coat. I waited for a response, but after a few minutes of silence, I continued. “I always thought that free will was only an illusion, and that life and death were just that: life and death, and nothing more. I found it hilarious that people argued the idea of life after death, or that there was nothing to look forward to after death. But now, sitting here in a cave, waiting for the blizzard of the century to pass, I’m starting to rethink it. Death is the only thing that is guaranteed in life. I mean it’s the only thing that we as people have to do. Everything is a choice, but death isn’t. Honestly, I think the only thing we can really look forward to in life is death. True freedom and free will, only after death can we reach this status.” Arianne immediately interrupted me, “But what if I want to live? What if I’m looking forward to delaying death?” Her question caught me off-guard and I didn’t expect it at the time. I tried to come up with an answer but could come up with nothing. She became aware of my flustered state and picked up from where I left off. “What if there is life after death, and we’re just living on different planes of existence? What if there are requisites to move on to the next plane and the very first requisite is dying? Sure, when we die, we fulfill that requirement, but what about the other requirements? If life was like this, then death wouldn’t grant us freedom, but in fact it’s our life that gives us freedom to do as we please until we die.” I kept silent for a while, and after a few minutes of thinking, I whispered to her, “You win.” I turned to her and with a smile I held out my hand. To my surprise, she didn’t respond the way I thought she would. With her head still down, eyes still teary, she continued her argument, “If we live in a constant loop of life and death, what’s the point then? What if the requirements are impossible to meet? Then all of our choices don’t mean anything since after death we can’t move on. We experience the same things again, and we can do things differently than the first. Eventually we’d get bored of life and it becomes torture to repeat the things that you consistently have done right, and the things you’ve done wrong. I mean, we’re just sitting here in a cave, with a dead fire, and the blizzard beginning to pick up. We’re soon going to be caved in if we just stay here, but I honestly don’t feel like we have any other choice than to just stay here and die. I don’t want to die… not now... not like this…” Her voice began to crack, and I knew that I had to comfort her. The impending doom had finally got to her, and was taking a toll on her rationality. I held her with both my arms around her and talked her out of her insanity.
